We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate. America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. – Leno
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The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a [...] Sen. Harry Reid goes to a local GM dealer in Washington, D.C. with the intention of buying a brand new vehicle. Harry looks around and finds one he likes. After going back and forth with the salesman, Harry settles on a price of $45,000. Harry and the salesman go back to the office [...] Dear Lord, In the past year you have taken away my favorite actor (Patrick Swayze), my favorite actress (Farah Fawcett), my favorite musician (Michael Jackson) and I just wanted to let you know that my favorite legislator is Nancy Pelosi. Amen A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands [...] Obama is the shepherd I did not want. A Mexican, an Arab, and a Florida girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’ The Arab, obviously [...] A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening [...] God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and [...] Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe… as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids [...] iowahawk: Obama Like Me? Roman, Please: “Tooooooo Funny!” (Via .) A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,’ he replies. ‘Put them back, we can’t afford them,’ demands the [...] Obamlet: “To surge, or not to surge: that is the question: (Via AMERICAN DIGEST.) Bob Hope On Democrats Monday, Thought For the Day: “The only positive thing about the ‘Cash for Clunkers’ program is that it took 700,000 Obama bumper stickers off the road.—-Unknown (Thanks, C, for sending this brilliant insight and glory hallelujah for this small blessing!) “ (Via Webutante.) Those bumper stickers were free but they cost us $24,000 each. John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his [...] Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.” Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the [...] “Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman’s hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now she’s Speaker of the [...] Video of Police Officers Playing Wii Bowling During Drug Raid Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? 12. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. 11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. 10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank. 9. Hot wheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM and Chrysler in the stock market. 8. Obama met with small businesses – GE, Pfizer, [...] Obama to Address “Schoochildren”Hot Air NBC Chicago scrubbed this. Greatest Line Ever?: “ Actually, it’s probably not even Mark Steyn’s greatest line ever, but it’s definitely a contender. From his column about the airbrushing of Chappaquiddick from tributes to Ted Kennedy: As Joan Vennochi wrote in the Boston Globe: ‘Like all figures in history — and like those in the Bible, for that matter — [...] If I Didn’t Have a Dog, or Cat … I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety. My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair. When the doorbell rings, it wouldn’t sound like a kennel. When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door [...] For those who don’t know much about history… Here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on venison in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the [...] 1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress. 2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. 3. Suppose you were [...] These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘HollywoodSquares’ game showresponses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen seconds later): Loneliness! And the audience laughed for another 10 [...] |
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