Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of ourcountry, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delawareriver with his troops.

There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat. It wasextremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.

Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember [...]]]> “You Gotta Be Shittin Me?”

Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of our
country, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware
river with his troops.

There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat. It was
extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.

Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and
stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.

Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the
lantern back and forth, back and forth.

Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and
his lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for
nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of
them
felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.

Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side,
wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that
they must go on.

Another hour later, one of his men said, ‘General, I see lights ahead.’
They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.

What they didn’t know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in
the forest to serve all who came.

General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.

Washington was the first to speak, ‘Madam, I am General George
Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and
desperately need warmth and comfort.’

Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a
broad  smile on her face, said,
‘Well, General, you have come to the right place.
We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?’

Washington replied, ‘Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters.’
And the Madam said, ‘You gotta be shittin me.’

I only sent this to those of you with a slightly warped sense of humor
which means all of you!

NPR covers the good and bad of this epic Rock classic and offers a few interesting covers. Here’s just one:

(Via protein wisdom.)

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it’s generic name is Acetaminophen.

Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it [...]]]> All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it’s generic name is Acetaminophen.

Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.?It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don’t send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

During his vacation at Martha’s Vineyard- President Obama had been slicing off the tee on every hole.

He asks his Scottish caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies: “Aye, there’s a piece of shyt on the [...]]]> You’ve got to love the Scottish sense humor!!

During his vacation at Martha’s Vineyard- President Obama had been slicing off the tee on every hole.

He asks his Scottish caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies: “Aye, there’s a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver”.

The President picks up his driver and cleans the club face, at which point the caddy says: “Nay, the other end, laddie”!!

Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a [...]]]> Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the Greatest political sages this country has ever known.

Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence
And find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER…

First ~Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.
I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it’s called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.

(Via Dynamic Net, Inc..)

But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to [...]]]> They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

What ignoramuses do we have for not only elected officials but also the president, and all of the f’ing bureaucrats. I am not asking too much…..

I am writing today with a somewhat unusual request. First and foremost, I will be asking that you return America to its August 20th, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

This reminds me a lot of Steve McCurry. Steve had the honor of shooting the last roll of Kodachrome.

Just click on where you think the city is and the plane will land there, then it will show where the city actually is!! Good luck !!

Land The Plane!

(Via .)

“Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”

Texas A&M.